The Book
The Definitive Guide to Conflict Resolution
Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships
Wall Street Journal Bestseller
Amazon Best Leadership & Business Book 2021
“One of the most clear and helpful books on this endemic feature of our humanity: conflict.”
— Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. & Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.
What Experts Are Saying
Praise for Getting to Zero
4.8 average on Amazon
“With this book, Jayson Gaddis offers us the opportunity to clear our minds of all the unresolved conflicts that haunt our lives. He has culled the best thinking and research on the art of conflict resolution and offers it to us in an immensely readable and practical form.“
Richard Schwartz, Ph.D.
Developer of the Internal Family Systems Model
“In this compelling guide to approaching conflict in our most intimate relationships, Jayson Gaddis offers a science‑informed, practical toolbox for resolving the inevitable tensions that arise in our personal and professional lives“
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.
Executive Director, Mindsight Institute, New York Times Bestselling Author IntraConnected; Mind; Mindsight, and Aware
“Getting to Zero is the ultimate loving relationships guide for anyone who would love to transform disconnection to connection, conflict into communication, victim mentality into victory mentality, survival into thrival and inauthenticity into authenticity.“
Dr. John Demartini
International Best-Selling Author of The Values Factor: The Secret to Creating an Inspired and Fulfilling Life
“Jayson Gaddis is a magnificent teacher‑‑thoughtful, warm, nerdy, practical, and wise. The approach he offers on these pages is one that serves our bodies, our minds, our hearts, and our souls.“
Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD
Faculty, School of Education and Social Policy, Northwestern University; Author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back
“The most underrated superpower for a fulfilling life is knowing how to find connection through conflict. This book will give you that superpower.”
Cory Muscara
Host of Mindfulness.com and Author of Stop Missing Your Life
“Jayson Gaddis has written, in our view, one of the most clear and helpful books on this endemic feature of our humanity: conflict.“
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.
Authors of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
“Jayson Gaddis has done it! He has written a brilliant, practical book that leaves no stone unturned in its quest for healthier relationships. This book provides the tools and techniques that every relationship needs to get to the other side.“
Jeff Brown
Author of An Uncommon Bond and Grounded Spirituality
“Finally a book that gets right to the heart of how to work with relational conflict! Jayson Gaddis brilliantly helps the reader understand what conflict is, why it arises and offers a roadmap through these challenging times. This book is a must‑read for everyone.“
Lisa Dion, LPC, RPT-S
President of the Synergetic Play Therapy Institute and creator of Synergetic Play Therapy
“Jayson Gaddis’ excellent new book, Getting to Zero, is a fabulous couple guide to conflict solutions interspersed with inspirational self‑disclosures of Jayson’s own life and relationship experiences. He provides valuable conceptual framing and techniques for managing conflict.“
Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
Developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) and Author of We Do and Wired for Love
“Getting to Zero holds the keys to deepening your relationships and exponentially up-leveling your joy in life! Jayson Gaddis has written a step-by-step guide on resolving conflict from the inside out. As a teacher and guide, Jayson is thoughtful, generous, and insightful.“
Terri Cole
Psychotherapist, Relationship Expert, Author of Boundary Boss – The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free
“Getting to Zero” is an excellent guidebook for anyone looking to improve their conflict management skills. Jayson’s storytelling is impactful, his insights are wise, and his message is clear and heartfelt.“
Coach Mike Bayer
Professional Personal Development Coach, Interventionist and Author of the New York Times Bestselling Book Best Self: Be You Only Better (2019)
“With this book, Jayson Gaddis offers us the opportunity to clear our minds of all the unresolved conflicts that haunt our lives. He has culled the best thinking and research on the art of conflict resolution and offers it to us in an immensely readable and practical form.“
Richard Schwartz, Ph.D.
Developer of the Internal Family Systems Model
“In this compelling guide to approaching conflict in our most intimate relationships, Jayson Gaddis offers a science‑informed, practical toolbox for resolving the inevitable tensions that arise in our personal and professional lives“
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.
Executive Director, Mindsight Institute, New York Times Bestselling Author IntraConnected; Mind; Mindsight, and Aware
“Getting to Zero is the ultimate loving relationships guide for anyone who would love to transform disconnection to connection, conflict into communication, victim mentality into victory mentality, survival into thrival and inauthenticity into authenticity.“
Dr. John Demartini
International Best-Selling Author of The Values Factor: The Secret to Creating an Inspired and Fulfilling Life
“Jayson Gaddis is a magnificent teacher‑‑thoughtful, warm, nerdy, practical, and wise. The approach he offers on these pages is one that serves our bodies, our minds, our hearts, and our souls.“
Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD
Faculty, School of Education and Social Policy, Northwestern University; Author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back
“The most underrated superpower for a fulfilling life is knowing how to find connection through conflict. This book will give you that superpower.”
Cory Muscara
Host of Mindfulness.com and Author of Stop Missing Your Life
“Jayson Gaddis has written, in our view, one of the most clear and helpful books on this endemic feature of our humanity: conflict.“
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.
Authors of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
“Jayson Gaddis has done it! He has written a brilliant, practical book that leaves no stone unturned in its quest for healthier relationships. This book provides the tools and techniques that every relationship needs to get to the other side.“
Jeff Brown
Author of An Uncommon Bond and Grounded Spirituality
“Finally a book that gets right to the heart of how to work with relational conflict! Jayson Gaddis brilliantly helps the reader understand what conflict is, why it arises and offers a roadmap through these challenging times. This book is a must‑read for everyone.“
Lisa Dion, LPC, RPT-S
President of the Synergetic Play Therapy Institute and creator of Synergetic Play Therapy
“Jayson Gaddis’ excellent new book, Getting to Zero, is a fabulous couple guide to conflict solutions interspersed with inspirational self‑disclosures of Jayson’s own life and relationship experiences. He provides valuable conceptual framing and techniques for managing conflict.“
Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
Developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) and Author of We Do and Wired for Love
“Getting to Zero holds the keys to deepening your relationships and exponentially up-leveling your joy in life! Jayson Gaddis has written a step-by-step guide on resolving conflict from the inside out. As a teacher and guide, Jayson is thoughtful, generous, and insightful.“
Terri Cole
Psychotherapist, Relationship Expert, Author of Boundary Boss – The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free
“Getting to Zero” is an excellent guidebook for anyone looking to improve their conflict management skills. Jayson’s storytelling is impactful, his insights are wise, and his message is clear and heartfelt.“
Coach Mike Bayer
Professional Personal Development Coach, Interventionist and Author of the New York Times Bestselling Book Best Self: Be You Only Better (2019)
The Podcast
Raw Conversations. Real Tools.
With over 8 million downloads, The Jayson Gaddis Podcast is where Jayson dives into the nuance of human connection, self-awareness, and relational depth. No fluff — just deep dives and practical wisdom.
Long-Form Writing
Men & The Work — On Substack
For Jayson’s latest long-form essays, deep-dives into the Relational Leadership model, and ongoing conversations with men doing the work. Thousands of subscribers read it every week.
The Vault
Best of the Blog
Years of writing on relationships, conflict, and what it means to be a present man.
Conflict
What To Do When Your Spouse Goes Silent On You
Their silence isn’t punishment. Your pursuit isn’t helping.
Marriage
Men: Learn How To Validate Your Woman’s Feelings
She doesn’t need you to fix it. She needs you to feel it with her.
Marriage
Can A Relationship Work If One Partner Is Growing And The Other Isn’t?
Growth is lonely when you’re the only one moving. At some point, you have to decide if love is enough to stay still.
Fatherhood
What Happens When We Don’t Teach Boys About Sex
Boys don’t learn sexuality in a vacuum. They learn it from other boys — and that’s the problem.
Communication
How to Stop Being Right and Start Being Connected
Winning the argument is the fastest way to lose the relationship.
Men’s Work
When Your Friend Cuts You Off
Being cut off hurts. But the lesson it’s pointing to is always about you.