Integrity—How Keeping Your Word Could Mean Abandoning Yourself

A lot of dudes think that integrity means, “keeping my word.”

Let’s take a closer look.

In my experience, this approach can get very rigid in relationships. Some men have it that personal integrity means keeping my word while abandoning myself, so that’s what they do. Then they resent the other person for not applauding them for keeping their word. “Keeping my word” can be another sneaky way of “trying to be good” in order to not upset the relationship.

So, if you are this person, investigate it a bit more. Notice if you are running some obligation that you need to follow through on, otherwise, “Other” might think you are lame, flakey, or unreliable. Be willing to change your mind, back out, cancel plans, especially if it’s coming from you honoring you. If people lose trust in us because we change our tune, that’s okay, because their dismay can serve to strengthen our ability to be even more true to ourselves.